BitchScopes Archive

Kelly McClain







NOVEMBER BITCHSCOPES


Even though Mercury retrogrades in the depths of Scorpio for over half of November, this month screams potential.  There is a lot of energy ripe for making your dreams come true or setting long term goals to pave the road for your dreams.  This month feels fairly gentle and sensitive as we transition from excavating inside ourselves into exploring outside ourselves. We are more prepared for relationship and positive interactions now. The Full Moon on the 12th occurs in the sign of Taurus, which asks us to pay attention to the physical and our own senses and needs. Taurus is also stubborn, of course. But being a little selfish is not bad for the moment, and feels necessary. This month’s energy, overall, is pretty sweet.  Forwarned is forearmed, however. Later in the month there could be some chaotic disruption leading into the New Moon. This new moon also asks us to expand our horizons and open our minds. Be adventurous and confident. 

Mercury and Neptune both turn direct later in the month and bring with them clarity about our emotions, and the illusions we’ve held.  Creativity will be high by month end. 

As cliche as it may be, and I have my feelings about the manufactured gratitude that some people peddle, this month is the perfect time to focus on what you are thankful for. Not only because of Thanksgiving, but because we are deep in Mercury retrograde in Scorpio this month. Scorpio energy can be heavy and drag some things to the surface. Gratitude will help keep things light.  


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ARIES - You have stepped badassily into a new reality for yourself, Aries. Congratulations. But you’re probably exhausted as well.  Try to pay attention to the little things that show up to help you, whether they are people, parking spots, or pauses in the chaos.  There may also be something nagging at you that you thought was resolved that appears to not be. *cough cough Mercury retrograde* Make sure you cross your T’s and dot your I’s legally and financially because it will save you stress down the road. No shortcuts. No cutting.  No takesies. 

TAURUS - I know you have 2 speeds but you need to find that middle one right now.  Life is busy, but self care is the order of the month. REAL self care, not just indulging in the oreos and chai tea soy wax candles on sale.  Sleep. Nutrition. Nurturing. During Mercury retrograde you need to observe your daily routine and see if it really feeds you, or drains you.  Mercury in Scorpio is very likely to highlight some of your less healthy habits and tendencies. Rather than fight it, try to take it in and benefit from it.  This month, make a concerted effort to spend quality time with those closest to you.  

GEMINI -  This month your mission, should you choose to accept it (I recommend saying yes), is to keep your reactions on the low side of the “losing my shit” scale.  Stay out of the red zone. Pull back, think, consider, rethink what you want to say and say about half of that. With less adjectives. Because I know you love adjectives.  Less is more this month. And if and when you are faced with a choice later this month, choose the path of least drama. If you have earth in your chart or your friends circle, lean into that energy.  This is a great month for you to ground, tree-hug, hike, and breathe deeply. You will have many, many opportunities in the future to make that well crafted, sharp tongued point you are dying to make. Blink, swallow, breathe. 

CANCER - Well there’s no getting around it, all this extra intense water energy will definitely turn your emotions up.  You may find yourself getting slightly offended, or it may just be that other people’s integrity does not match up with yours and you find it distasteful.  Take all that emotion and channel it into some work. I feel some kind of craft or art figuring heavily into your schedule this month. And there’s a very good liklihood that your income will benefit from what you use as self-therapy. Everyone wins! Say yes to new opportunities, and no to emotional manipulation this month. 

LEO - You may be outwardly quiet, but your creative energy is probably high this month.  What Scorpio is to water, you are to Fire, and the depths of this energy are not dampening your spirit one bit.  While you may be contemplating some deep emotioans, it won’t stop you from shining, socially. When not the star of the evening, you may be treading some deep water. Perhaps some childhood pain you really thought you’d dealt with, or a relationship that you closed a door on manages to creak open.  Whatever it is it will drag some deep emotions to the surface. Use one of your many creative outlets to vent this energy off, but don’t ignore it.  

VIRGO - If you are looking for a deeper meaning or purpose in life, which you always are, it may show up this month in the form of a club or organization of some sort.  Don’t do your typical thing and overthink it to death. Just go. You don’t have to commit yet. And let go of your fears about other people’s opinions. Do be sincere and authentic, however.  Your warrior facade won’t get you where you need to be. In fact, that tough exterior will just be in your way this month. One or more relationships has the potential to be transformed soon, mostly by a change in how you see these people.  That change can’t happen if you are armored to the gills. Stay open is your mantra this month. 

LIBRA - You’ve been working a lot, and probably over giving as you tend to do.  And October may have had you feeling a little bit defeated in the area of Career. But you should be feeling an overall uptick in your confidence, security and sense of self this month.  Clarity about situations that have been bugging you will arrive later this month. You may be surprised about someone’s depth. There are a couple of harder conversations that may pop up this month, probably with family.  You are more than capable of handling these as they arise. But remember, when faced with a choice, choose you. Every.time.

SCORPIO - Well it may be no surprise that with Mercury chest deep in your sign, communication will be highlighted for you.  Understanding is yours for the taking. That may come in the form of understanding yourself. You are the master of hiding things, even from your own self. We all do this, it just happens to be one of your more natural gifts of self protection.  However in this retrograde, it will be hard to keep some of your less proud moments in the dark where you’d like them. So you may as well get honest with yourself and own up to where you may have wronged people once close to you. 

SAGITTARIUS - If you’ve been a little defensive and suspicious lately, you may want to take a deep breath.  The people closest to you are also the people you feel safest to be pissy with, but it doesn’t go unnoticed and it does cause hurt feelings.  You, the truth-at-any-cost sign, might not care too much about “hurt feelings” but they are real and they build up and eventually affect relationships of all kinds.  In good news, travel is definitely up for you this month, even if its a short trip for some fun. You’ve been working ridiculously hard and you’ve more than earned a break.  

CAPRICORN  - Well...do you feel productive yet? Do you feel successful yet? Are we there yet?!  Probably not. You will never be truly satisfied with anything less than world domination so you may as well chill out for a couple weeks   I know you think this year hasn’t been very “productive”, but so many stepping stones have been laid down on your path. Those are not the same as “Welcome to the summit of  HERE” moments that you love so much, but they are every bit as important. This month you really need to give youself a little credit for ...well a lot of things. Try to get out into nature a bit, slow down and breathe a little deeper and slower.  2020 is waiting for you to kick its ass so just take these last couple months to be with family and friends. (isn’t it so cute that I think you might take this advice?)

AQUARIUS - You feel angry.  Bitter. Resentful. Always carrying everyone else’s water and never getting any help with your own buckets.  But have you failed to notice when someone has offered to help you because it wasn’t up to your standards? Have you noticed that you’ve nailed your left hand to the cross? So how are you gonna get that right hand nailed up there? Well you could ask for help. OR you could give up the martyr  crown all together. All Aquarians have several of these crowns, in various colors and styles. One for every occasion. Mercury retrograde might be a nice time to examine this fashion accessory and question how often you wear it. Side effects of going in the world without headdress: peace, tranquility, acceptance...

PISCES - You’re probably feel very sensitive, maybe even a little triggered. There’s a lot of water in the collective right now, and you have no where to hide, or so it seems.  When feeling everything gets overwhelming, you should a) ground ground ground and b) consider the opposite of what you tend to do which is cocoon. There can be a strange solace in crowds, where you can just be in the ocean and not have to identify each drop.  Your family is probably a strong source of support for you when you feel “touched out”. Lean into them, as well as the notion of play. You need more than the average fish, so schedule some into your every single day. Embodiment and sensory input will be really good for you too.  Damn, I’m gonna be a fish this month: get a massage, eat good food, play with crayons...



OCTOBER  BITCHSCOPES

October brings us into the thick of Libra season.  Our lives automatically seem to seek balance. Even the weather evens out.  We get to put away our sweat stained tank tops and put on our cozy pumpkin latte life.  We feel alive, flirty, social (or not, that’s ok too!) and there’s a strong focus on all of our relationships.  But it isn’t only romance that comes under this sign. Libra deals with all partnerships, so your business dealings will come under some scrutiny this month as well. Do you trust the people around you? Where are the imbalances of power, control, justice? October also ushers in a burgeoning mass of  Scorpio energy. (The only word better than “burgeoning” to describe Scorpio might be “throbbing”, but I was trying to be ladylike. Oops. See title of Scopes) Secrets are kept and revealed. The veil becomes thinner and our connection to things unseen becomes more noticeable. Our intuition will get louder this month and next.  It is time to trust...your inner knowing, your self, and the people in your intimate circle. Scorpio loves to plumb the depths of intimacy, and Mercury will retrograde in Scorpio at the end of this month.  This is merc’s 3rd retrograde this year, and all have been in water signs.  How we perceive and communicate our emotions has been under inspection and intensification. In scorpio, the themes of depth, intimacy, shared resources and finances, revelations, and sexuality are all on the docket.  Where you have Scorpio in your chart, expect a deepening of expression and sensitivity.  

The Full Moon is October 13th, in Aries, and the New Moon is October 27, in Scorpio.


There’s an ….”interesting” amount of Plutonian energy, which perhaps you’d expect in October, and what I would consider an unsual number of inconjucts, or Quincunxes.  These are disconnects in the energy of the 2 parties involved. There are only 3 Quincunxes in the list of transits I used to write these scopes, but that is more than any month in recent memory. At any rate, it seems significant to me so I’m listening to that.  2 of these aspects are involving Neptune. So while the veil may be thinning, there is still a lot of mystery that we are being asked to embrace. Uranus provides some unexpected action in this mix as well. And Venus jumps at me out of the list. Maybe love is the ultimate mystery this month...

This month promises progress to many signs who have been impatiently doing the work.  There is beautiful and deep potential in this 31 days…

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Aries -  The month of October promises new avenues of career and professional progress for you.  There is work involved, but you have probably already put in the hours. So now, you have to be willing to get out of your own way and accept what life wants to bring you. The last few months have been very trying. You have shed a lot of bullshit from your life and learned, yet again, what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate. What you’ll do to succeed? Move mountains, apparently! No one ever accused an Aries of being lazy!  But your time to shine is here...there’s just some tedious rehearsals before every show. 

Taurus - I feel you emerging from a long sleep of sorts. Things may have been in neutral for the past few months, and some of that has been by your own design.  But I sense there is something waking up within you, something that will have you dissatisfied with what you have been tolerating for some time now. These types of awakenings can come with some harsh reminders, but they mostly feel ...rude...not traumatic.  So tolerate these things as you would a rude customer or client - with dignity and integrity, manners, and stoicness. Then get in your car at the end of the day and swear and eat the best chocolate you can find. Progress is coming!

Gemini - Abundance is the word that came to me when I sat down to write your scope.  And I feel it shows up for you this fall in a number of different areas of life.  Personal growth, personal finances, and personal circle. I feel a growing mental nag that you’ve had for some time, a decision you’re trying to make that you’ve been wrestling probably for too long (mutable problems).  I also sense an educational theme will start emerging soon, or may have already. . Whatever this nag is, it won’t go away, so you may as well pursue it if it isn’t already pursuing you. Also your ability to find, receive, be gifted, and acquire money feels strong this month.  You may have reinvented yourself in certain ways in the last couple of months, and that energy will continue to deepen this fall. That will attract in the new tribe of people you have been hoping for, and soon this abundance energy will show up as a wider circle of friends.  

Cancer - A dual energy comes through for you in October. There is a desire to be at home, to blossom, plant, nurture, be with family, and do the things you adore this time of year. But I feel your career will be opening up in a big, new way, after some surprising turns.  So there will be this opposing energy pulling you in both directions. You are completely capable of handling this dynamic if you determine where your boundaries are. That may prove to be the biggest challenge for you this month.  

Leo -  Your scope has  an odd feel, because it is composed of a mish mash of energies. On the one hand, I feel you have had some health issues nagging you in the last couple months.  I feel this may have rippled into your work/home life in some way. But the other half of this mismatched coin is a celebratory energy around you in October. This leads me to believe that you will experience an uptick in your health and energy this month.  You will be celebrating your self in a number of ways, but not in the Proud Leo Cliche way. This is an authentic appreciation for yourself. And with this wave of odd energy mashups comes an opportunity you’ve been waiting for. So...yay you! Rawr!

Virgo -  You’ve been doing a lot of work on yourself. Some of it has been forced on you over the last year. The last few months in particular were probably intense.  Pain and difficulty never feel like healing, but they are. However, in October I sense a shift into some gentler energy for you. While, on the one hand, work life may get busier, your forced self care starts to actually feel like it’s working.  So if you’ve had the “spiritual flu”, and you’ve been metaphorically rolling around in bed moaning, you’re now about to reach the point of sitting up, eating, watching Oprah, and truly recovering. Yay you!

Libra - Well this is your time to shine and you know it.  You may have been a bit withdrawn over the last couple months, but starting at the end of September, you probably started to feel the shift.  You feel more social again, your flirt muscles can get a proper work out, and you’ll be feeling yourself in various ways. There’s also great career progress building behind the scenes.  Watch for news around December/January regarding an offer of some sort. . Happy Birthday and congrats on the growth!

Scorpio - You’re gearing up to enter your season, but you may not be feeling very party-ish. The time around our birthday is almost always a time of reflection and introspection, and no one does that better than a Scorpio.  So you may be examining choices you’ve made and if they still serve you. Sometimes that shows up as regret and anxiety about what choice to make. You are not one who shies away from sacrifice, but there needs to be a pay off or you won’t touch it.  The good news is, all of this deep reflection is not for nothing. I do feel a shift in your finances coming down the pike. An influx or increase of income, or a new opportunity. The energy is already building, behind the scenes, of course, where all things Scorpio happen!  There’s also a strong sense of satisfaction for you this month, coming from a project you have worked on. Reward yourself - pretend the rainy day is today...

Sagittarius - You are entering a season where you’re being asked to get a bit more intense about a certain part of your life.  You will continue to have to push yourself through the thick parts of this energy. If it all seems like a test, it is.  Do you really want this thing? How bad? How necessary is it? What are you willing to do for it? Where in your life are you struggling? Look to the opposite area of that and turn your truth teller inward and admit where you are deceiving yourself, in denial, or skating by… This is the balance Libra wants you to find…

Capricorn - Congratulations on the movement you’re about to experience, especially in your ever present career zone.   If you’ve been feeling stuck or stagnant, (thanks to a lot of heavy energy in your sign) you’re about to get a refreshing breeze blowing through your life.  Whew - So very needed! No one works harder, or more, than a Cap, and your efforts are going to bear fruit this Fall. The hard work is never really done, but things will feel much less sisyphean going forward.  Your relationships will feel slightly less difficult, and money will be more cooperative as well. There may be one more speed bump before notable progress. And yes, Saturn is with you for another year, but he’s direct and getting shit done!

Aquarius - You have been laying the foundations for things you may not even be aware of. And you will continue to build this month, just by being your weird self. This Fall, you will start to see some interesting things develop in places you didn’t expect.  I sense part of this is new career avenues that you’ve been manifesting but sort of forgot about (which is the best way to manifest!). Now is not the time to become complacent, no matter how frustrated you feel. In fact, whatever you’ve been doing, keep doing it.  The reward is coming. For now, relationships should feel a bit easier than they have in the past few months.

Pisces - There has been a burst of growth for you over the last months, though it may be subtle.  A great deal of healing has taken place and you’re more ready to track down that dream deferred.  This season of connections, though, may distract you from your goals a bit. So stay awake, and stay determined, and stay focused on yourself.  This is hard in a sea of others. If you can differentiate your feelings from everyone else’s you’re half way through the battle! The thing you are most afraid of is also the thing you deeply desire.  Identify what that is and keep your eye on it!